I think when we prophecy, heal the sick, intercede, teach
GODS word, minister to one another we are demonstrating some of the most
amazing acts of love in my eyes. Seeing a stranger get healed is life changing.
Prophesying to people and their whole life is wrecked is love. Seeing people
come to Christ by simple acts of love is encouraging. Can I say I want more
though? I seem to do well in these areas and fail in other areas.
It’s easy to love those that love you, or those who know
you, or those who believe the things you do, or even a stranger that you may
never see again, all that’s easy. I am specifically saying I want to love those
who hate me or resist me. Love those who are not like me. The first sign of
rejection I am done. The first sign of my heart getting hurt I am done. The
first sign of words that hurt I am done. But I want to be undone by love, I
want to love people like GOD loves me. The scripture says to pursue love! Maybe
my pursuit was not clear because no one could see that everything I write I am writing
because I need to hear it too. I am not pointing the critical finger because
the words I write are for me as well.
I tried keeping orphans in my home and I failed miserably
because my love was not constant. I felt horrible because it revealed more
about me then it did about them. I was not as loving as I thought I was. I was
challenged not condemned. I was encouraged to know where I stand instead of
this imaginary love idea floating in my head. I learned I will never know where
my love was had I not been challenged. I learned that when situations come up I
could see when I was growing in love. One time my mother had an orphan living
at her house and this young lady did not want to live with us. So she decided
to pick a fight with me. She decided to drop all of my mothers’ glasses on the
ceramic tile floor one by one. Yelling and screaming she was waiting for me to
respond in like manner but I didn’t. I was calm, I asked her to stop, I never
lost my composure. She continued until all the glasses on that shelf were
shattered on the floor. She realized her plan was not working. When she sat
down at the kitchen table to calm down I asked her if she wanted something to
drink. She said yes some milk. My mom thought I was crazy, but I was determined
I was not going to react so I served her milk. I noticed the more I did this
the more, calm she became. Now, I am by no means saying this little situation
was my arrival into greatest gift of love but it was definitely a start for me.
Since love is the greatest gift and the greatest weapon I
want to practice it, pursue it, and not be half hearted. I want to be
challenged now so I will know where I am going to stand after this battle is
over. Since love is what the father is going to be interested in knowing what
we did with it while hear on earth, I want to be confronted with opportunities.
To love someone that will reject you is challenging. To love knowing that I
could get hurt is hard. To love with nothing in return is difficult. I learned
that we can entrust our hearts to the Holy Spirit. If we follow HIM knowing all
the above is possible, HE will protect our hearts. What is so good about this
is the other person gets to experience GODS love through me. I want to see love
break through the toughest walls, I want to see a fortress fall because of
love, I really want to see the world be drawn to the Church by our constant
display of love.
I was sitting meditating on all of this and a song came on
by Alberto and Kimberly Rivera asking GOD to expand my heart to love:
I am increasing your capacity for
my love.
Be consumed with my love.
Expanding, contracting, and
expanding to beat with the things that my heart beat for.
So this is my prayer come and expand my heart expand my
capacity to love the unlovable.
I like to challenge people and I like to be challenged but
it seems to always be controversial to do this. Yet it’s just apart of who, I
am, to challenge people, I think I need to work on my presentation but my heart
is that we go deeper. I like to challenge leaders, the church, anyone really to
not be content with seeing love through the gifts yet run when it hurts. I
write to challenge you not to hurt you but do you long for more?
Misunderstood,
Dionne
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